Three excruciating walk off losses in a row in Texas. Three excruciating walk off losses in a row in Texas to cap off losing 3 out of 4 to another division rival after losing 2 out of 3 to the Twins, no less. Oh, joy. Even better. And then, last night, as fans were reeling from the hits — the other teams’, natch — that seemed to keep right on coming, what did they Angels do? Why handed us a gorgeous, feel good, batting exhibition of an 8 to 2 win over the Blue Jays, of course. I mean, I was expecting that, weren’t you?
All sarcasm aside, I suppose we fans really should have been expecting it on some level because this has been the Angels’ story all season. Get swept by the Pirates, sweep the Tigers. Get swept by the Mariners, come back after the All Star Break and take a more than decent 2 out of 3 from the best in the west A’s. Thinking about this pattern last night really made me start wondering. Is this relationship of mine with the Angels really, in the strictest sense, healthy?
I mean, let’s think about this for a minute. What is one particularly strong sign of an unhealthy relationship? Yes, exactly:
Periods of disturbingly erratic behavior, often followed by a barrage of gifts and kind gestures to make up for increasingly bad behavior.
Hmmmm…so let us review. Three excruciating walk off losses in a row in Texas after a string of other bad losses followed by a big, loud, extravagant gift of a win…oh, and did I mention that last night was also Albert Pujols Pint Glass Night? Uh huh. *nods*
Interesting. So, can we think of any additional classic signs of an unhealthy relationship that the Angels meet?
Isolation from friends and outside activities.
Well, I have been known to flake out on friends and parties in order to watch that evening’s game at home. Sometimes at the last…um…er…did I just admit that out loud?!? On the Internet?!? Crap! I mean…um…er…I wasn’t feeling well *cough, cough*…I had a terrible headache (this season, usually starting about the 8th inning)…there was this thing, yeah, this thing having nothing whatsoever to do with baseball that unexpectedly came up…er…they’re not buying it are they? Rats!
*In a whispered voice* Let’s just consider this criteria met.
Interference in relationships with family.
Hmmm…how to sum up? Both my immediate family and all of the Los Angeles based folks bleed Dodger Blue. My Central and Northern California family on both sides are passionate Giants fans. And then there’s me (and Seth). Soooooo…Gee whiz Krupke, that’s why I’m a mess…and why, when we all get together, post season dinner conversations can be…er…lively. 😉
Of course, at the heart of it, the various fans in the family all love baseball and love talking about the game and if, every now and then, there’s just a tiny little bit of trash talk, so be it. On second thought, we’ll call this one dysfunctional on the surface only and thoroughly hysterical on all levels.
There is a history of such behavior.
Ummm, yeah. Hey Angels fans? Does the team have a history of this behavior? Okay. Yes. I see a lot of nodding from those who have watched the last few seasons. Aaaaaand a lot more vigorous nodding from those who’ve been watching longer. Ooooo, swearing and nodding! Yeah, I’d ask if that’s really necessary, but I can tell that you folks have been watching since the beginning, so I think we all know that it is.
Okay, ouch. That couple over there is sobbing. I think they were at The Game That Must Not Be Named in 1986. Oh you were? Nice seats behind home plate, you say? Awk. Ward.
Sooooo…anyway. Suffice to say, yes. There is a history of such behavior.
Your entire personality starts to change within the context of the relationship.
Oh, so kind of like all of the yelling, swearing, stomping, cheering and general loud behavior this normally quiet, mild mannered geek girl suddenly adopts the moment the umpire shouts play ball? Yeah, ‘nuff said.
And, there are more classic signs that I could list, but I think we have our answer here loud and clear. Obviously, if you’re ever in a relationship with an actual human who behaves in any of these ways, you should find the nearest available cub and kick them to it, stat. No ifs. No ands. No but baby I can changes.
But when the relationship is with a baseball team? Well, then the rules are less clear. I mean, fan does come from the term fanatic, after all. My relationship with the Angels certainly doesn’t sound healthy but what it does sound is pretty normal, among the ranks of baseball diehards at least. I mean, we all know fans who take wins and losses with equal calm, watch the occasional game when it won’t interfere with other commitments or inconvenience their calendar in any way, and don’t get that bruised, beat up feeling after a string of hard losses. Yeah, we even have names for them, like casual, occasional and, less charitably, bandwagon.
Alright. What are we unhealthy baseball relationship sufferers left with then? *shrugs* I guess we struggle for perspective, continue to root for a win and hope that that annual couples therapy known as Hot Stove, the trade deadline (not this year clearly!) and the draft eventually break the pattern of long strings of crushing losses followed by winning presents. I mean, then dealing with all of the other stuff isn’t just worth it, it’s laudable. 😉
So business as usual then? Yeah, pretty much. Play ball!